Achilles and Hector are both seen as the best fighters from their groups. They are both relied on heavily for the fighting to be done in the war. The final standoff between the two is foreshadowing for the end of the war between the Greeks and the Trojans. Whoever wins is the best fighter among both armies and thus the army they belong to has the upper hand in the war.
Achilles is brought back to balance by thinking about how his father would have been affected if the circumstances had been reversed. This transformation shows that although the excitement of war can be overwhelming and can take over a person’s being, there is always an underlying part that craves emotional peace and the well being of others.
I think the Warrior Code and the Familial Code are not mutually exclusive, because the Warrior Code can be employed to protect one’s family, which is part of the Familial Code. When victory is over someone who is intending harm on a loved one, then the family is spared and honor is given by the family.
I agree with you in that victory and honor can be attained by defending your family in war, and that this made both codes not mutually exclusive. I also think that you can fight for your own pride and expose your family at the expense of it. Many kings have done so.
I absolutely love your point about the battle being foreshadowing. I’d like to extend it by pointing out that not only does Achilles’s side win the entire war, they sack Troy in a similar way to Achilles’s desecration of Hector’s body.